Uncertain

After trying for over a year to get pregnant we were elated to find out in August that we had finally done it! Two days after we found out we were pregnant we found out Jim got the job he had been wanting in Spokane. Things then moved on fast and furious. After packing, attending the beautiful wedding of my little brother and his Sweet bride we were off. We arrived in Coeur d' Alene last Sunday filled with excitement over our new adventure. On Monday I had an appointment with my new Doctor and the baby look great and healthy. Wednesday my sister and I headed out and about. As I was getting out of the car on our last stop I felt a rush. I stood up outside of the car and said to my sister I just felt something weird maybe I had wet my pants. After looking down for a minute the blood started to show through my pants down to my knees. She rushed me to the ER. When the DR came in he pretty much said the baby probably will not make it but lets do and ultrasound to see where the bleeding stands. In the ultrasound the tech tells me the baby has a heartbeat and looks good. I was so happy to know it was ok. After the Dr looks over the ultrasound he tells me that I have a large Hematoma on my uterus and even though the baby is alive now there is too much bleeding and the baby probably will not make it. My heart was crushed. After a few hours in limbo they came and gave me a Rhogam shot since my blood type is O- I need a shot after a birth or a miscarriage to protect me and future children in case the baby didn't have a negative blood type as well. While she was giving me the shot I cried knowing what that shot meant. Knowing they thought at any moment I will lose my precious baby. I was transferred upstairs where and OB came to take a look and give me his opinion. He found the baby's heart beat but said the same thing. There is too much bleeding and the baby is starting to detach from the uterus and I have the option of staying here or going home to wait for the baby to pass. I chose to go home. All night I was up worrying about what it will be like to lose my baby. Terrified of what it will look like and how horrible it will feel. I made it through the night and went in for a check up the next morning since the baby had still not passed. In the room a new DR looked over my chart and tried to find the baby's heartbeat. No heartbeat could be found. So they took me in for an ultrasound. There was my sweet little baby still fighting for life. Heartbeat strong. After the new DR looks at the results he tells me now is the time for hope. If the bleeding stops my body can eventually absorb the hematoma and if the baby can hold on and not detach anymore there is a good chance of keeping the baby. I was put on bedrest for the weekend to see if we can get the bleeding to stop. After a couple more appointments the baby is still holding on but the large hematoma/debris is still there. We are still in limbo hoping that the hematoma will absorb and start to get smaller. I still have bleeding each day but it seems to be the hematoma passing through. We still hope and pray that new bleeding will not start and that the baby will continue to get bigger and stronger and attach itself more firmly. I am still having a hard time sleeping and my sadness seems to come in waves. I am greatful that we did move here and I have the constant support of my sister. Without that I would be a much bigger mess than I already am.